When do you stop thinking about the cancer?

The simple answer is You don't, So in these times, its important to reflect on your moments of strength. Remember why exactly it is that you're fighting this cancer. Remember the last time you and your wife/partner went to a movie.

When was the last time you walked along the street, saw a rose/flower, picked it and smelt it.

When was the last time you picked up a rock in a field and seen how far you could throw it.

Whatever analogies I can come up with - ask yourself, "when was the last time I did this"... and you know what, dig deep, find the time and energy and just do it!

Life has this way of just dragging is down and we have to honestly fight so hard sometimes to just wake up and love the fact that we're alive.

  • Every unexplained bruise causes worry. Every ailment of unknown origin, every cold that doesn't go away, every random twinge or pain, will make you think about the cancer.
  • Every lead up to check ups, beginning weeks or months before, puts a deep and unmovable ball of anxiety in the pit of your stomach.
  • Every time you go to the doctor, any doctor, you can't really breathe until you know that everything is OK. You wait with baited breath for them to find something.
  • Every milestone is a bittersweet victory. Glorious yet innocuous. You find it hard to celebrate even if you want to.

This isn't something you forget about, like a broken bone. It's there every time you look in the mirror; weather you see scars, regrowing hair, missing limbs, or all of the above. It's there when you see the relief in your partners eyes when they look at you. It's there in the extended hug from your best friend, the extra kiss from your daughter, the additional 'I love you' from your partner, sister, mother. It's in your pets voice when they realize you aren't sick anymore.

Cancer is like an unwanted tattoo. Sometimes everyone can see it, but only you know the story behind it, what the journey was.

You want to know "When do I get to stop thinking about the cancer"....

but the real question is... "How do I start living with it"? You don't get rid of those thoughts, you merely try to control them and live.